Definitely curious to see the whole collection!

“Saturdays”: Gourmet Fall 2010 Women’s Collection Preview from Gourmet NFN on Vimeo.

-Toyah-

So, I just started the second year of my studies and I already don´t like this semester. The first week is not even over and I feel like this is just wrong. I highly disliked the last semester but hoped things will get better in the new year. Nope. Absolutely not. Then I ask myself why am I studying this again? I study International Management and Business, so actually everything I always thought I would never study. I never even thought I am going to study. So what is it again why I am doing this? The only answer I have: because I don´t know what I want to do and with this education one might at least be able to get a somewhat well paid job. Hm, motivating? No. And I hate that. Not having a real goal.

I know many people my age who are facing exactly the problem and admire, just like me, everybody who has an idea of what they want to do. Because there are quiet some who do know what direction to go. But for many of us there is just a big questionmark in front of us. No motivation from inside. Sad.

And I am sooo annoyed by it. It´s no fun. If I knew what I wanted to do I would leave this here just like that, believe me. Then I am wondering is it some kind of generation thing that we are just running around without a clue basically? Where did things go wrong? Which path did we miss to take?

And most importantly how the f*** will we find out what we want? I am angry and sad about this situation at the same time. It is so frustrating and demotivating, it´s eating you from inside every day again. That´s why I wanted to move back to Berlin because, at least, there I would love my life outside of school very much, but I had to be honest and admit that the studies there would be even more boring and difficult (more math)! Also, the one thing I really like about studying here is that the program is in English. I don´t know why but to me it makes it less boring. If I think of the textbooks we have were in German OMG I would quit right away.

For now, all I know is I am NOT going to stop this unless I have a better plan. And the only New Year´s Resolution I had was to be more positive =) and I stick to that. So I am trying to focus on the bright sides like the summer break where I can just leave this all for 2 months. Or the exchange semester in 2011, that will at least be exciting because of the adventure of going abroad. Trying to keep myself busy somehow with non-school related things.

I know many people who don´t really like the courses but are so after getting good grades so that motivates them. I wish I was like that. Of course I like having good grades, but I don´t mind just having a passing grade especially since I don´t care about the subjects. I think I lost my fear of “bad” grades early in highschool.

But, as i said, until there is no plan b I am not going to stop, hope it will all get better and try to get in the right state of mind for this.

Anyway, to all of you who are doing what they love; I look up to you and hope to be one of you one day (soon). To everybody who has a passion but is not following it for some reason; do it! I strongly believe it will make you more happy. And to everybody studying or working just something for no real reason; not having a real goal for life; I feel you and I hope this chapter in life will end soon.

Because one thing I know, once I know what I want I will go hard and will get it! Trust me.

-Toyah-

HES Amsterdam! The speaker´s voice is annoying I think.

HvA International edit final edit from Kunststoff2 on Vimeo.

Posted by Toyah!

I am back from PARIS! It was very nice. Unfortunately there´s something wrong with my camera so no pictures really. BUT manymany people were in Paris, since it was fashion week and stuff so you´ll find photos! (between I just noticed I can´t upload the three pictures I have, something wrong with wordpress?!)

So, I stayed in a 2 star hotel and I have to say it was cleaner then some higher-than-2-star hotels I have seen! Everything was new (and pink yeayyy), close to the metro, supermarket and cafes around the corner, and english speaking staff. Thumbs up.

Since I was alone there and I have already seen all the major tourist attractions I was mainly walking around and just getting an impression of the city.

I spoke french (!!!) as much as possible with my poor skills. Doing that is a HUGE improvement for me though! Thumbs up again!

On friday night I went in front of the John Galliano show. That was awesome! Many crazy fashion addicts. Kanye and Amber who rushed inside. Chris Brown who walked passed me. And one was able to see a bit of the show from outside! AWESOME!

Saturday I went to Colette and Marc by Marc Jacobs. Both were ridiculously crowded!  I had lunch at Qualite and co. Definitely cool to have a quick bite if you are in that area. Of course I walked around. Never really knowing where I exactly was^^. Passed by some nice small shops, galleries, bought two bags at a vintage store (they were on sale!), ate a crepe. Stuff like that. Then twitter twittered me that AC made it to Paris and was going to the Pigalle party. I actually wanted to go but I was too tired so I just stayed in (lame, i know!) . Then sunday I had a (very) quick lunch with Andy somewhere at Republique. My pizza was good, his Pasta not so much. Afterwards he left to the airport and I went to Capsule. They had some nice stuff! Talked to some people there. Nice nice! Then it was time for me to get to the airport. Of course I couldn´t leave Paris without embarrassing myself somehow once, sooo I slipped on the stairs to the metro (HAHA) and fell all the way down with my lugagge (HAHAHA). Luckily it didn´t really hurt much. Other than that not many exctiting things happend to me. Maybe some random things. At Amsterdam airport part of my tooth broke (weird!) and the girl sitting next to me in the wating hall also sat next to me on the plane. Been told twice I look french, from people who just felt like talking to me. Just the small and sometimes weird things that make one´s days unique I guess…

All in all it was definitely cool! PARIS is great.

Oh yeah, this morning I received a textmessage from a parisian friend of a friend offering me to give me some tips what to do. Too bad I am already back in Amsterdam. Still thanks again and also thank you Mr. B.!

Posted by Toyah!

Remeber early last year I was already thinking about getting a new phone?! I made my mind by now hehe and I think I am going for a BlackBerry. I really like the Iphone BUT I think BlackBerry is more suitable for me because, correct me if I am wrong, it seems more robust. HAHA. And the Iphone seems so sensitive for scratches (I absolutey do NOT want a case for my phone).  So the question now, wait a bit because there are new ones coming or going for the 9700, or what? I mean I will be stuck with it for the next two years! : )

Posted by Toyah!

In a few hours I am going to Paris for the weekend! YES! It looks like it will be a me, myself, and I trip because AC cancelled his trip more or less. LAME! Anyway, it´s Paris, it´s fashionweek. What more do I need?! Let´s see if I can sneak in some show, party whatever … It worked here in Amsterdam (hehe) BUT I guess the whole event there is like a million times bigger. Doesn´t matter, I heard travelling alone is the best thing ever, so it will be AWESOME! PARIS, see you later!

Posted by Toyah!

For some reason I have a craving for a goooood hamburger these days. It all started when I went to McDonalds during a shopping trip to have a quick bite and pfff that was anything but tasty, so I threw it away. Anyway, I already recruited a friend to join me for that, and the place we will go to is Burgermeester. I only went there once (not ones hehe)  and  I really liked it, especially the mini-burger concept : ) A little weird (in my eyes) are just the happy cows on the wall looking at you while  you eating “them” . But it didn´t really distract me too much from enjoying my burger ; )

Posted by Toyah!

Today, on my way home, sitting in the metro, I experienced something that has happened before (and I´m sure it will happen again). Lets call it a phenomen; men “sitting” next to you with their legs sooo wide open that you have to squeeze yourself together. Ok, I do get that you guys have something between there that may need some space BUT doing the splits is a little too much! Like seriously what are you thinking?! Today I was too tired to really care but I think that one day I will just do the exact same thing; if a guy feels like he has to sit down next to me and do some stretching I will split right back at him. Haha I am curious what the reaction will be, and hope I wont end up with a black eye or something haha. We will see : ) So, being all annoyed about this I thought about what annoying behavior women tend to come up with in a train and I think it is having their bags on the seat next to them and the train is quiet packed which leads to them giving you a dirty look while taking the bag slowly (!!!) away  so you can sit down. WTF?! is all I have to say to that…

Posted by Toyah!